For the first time
by Phanael
Summary: Sirius ran from Remus' hut, but he will come back. What made him run like that? Rated for a bit of bad language. Please RR! Slash...


Pairing: Remus x Sirius, who else?

Disclaimer: bla bla not mine bla bla…

Notes: I'm afraid this story is not that well written, the idea is lame and all in all it's not my best work yesterday I deleted "curiosity". It was so badly written and I hated it. Don't know why I loaded it up…

Thanks for all the reviews to my other stories, you make me happy .

For the first time 

„Sirius come back!", Remus Lupin, former teacher of Hogawards called out over the landscape that surrounded his hut far out of any city. "Sirius!", again the desperate yell but Sirius ignored the sad voice of his best and only friend. Remus should have known. Never should he have mentioned THAT. Not before the night of the full moon, when he wasn't able to leave the house for his own good and those of any other person.

Remus Lupin hoped so much that Sirius would come back before he transformed into a beast and tried to rip himself to pieces. He had been so glad the first full moon when Sirius had been back from Azkaban and all the full moons after that.

Remus had been worried during the war. Some times they had been so close to dying and the night when Dumbledore had died, killed in the ministry by some random, nameless deatheater Remus had cried in front of his fire where he had heard the news from Harry, Sirius' Godson. Sirius had come home from the ministry and seen him crying. Remus was so glad that Sirius had thrown his arms around the smaller man and lulled him to peace.

Yes, Sirius' new home was with Moony. Ever since he came back from Askaban, he lived in the small hut in the outskirts of Edinburgh. At first it was because Dumbledore told him to lie low at Lupin's but later… Sirius' loved this place, it was so full of warmth and he was always welcome to Remus. He needed Remus, his only friend left of his childhood days.

But now he was gone and Remus was slightly pissed because he was left alone. And because Sirius was so impulsive and acted like that. He just turned into Padfoot and ran into the fields.

Remus slumped down on the couch and buried his face in his hands.

_Flashback:_

"_Lupin, you're just so damn stupid.", the snarling voice of Severus Snape said. "Every month you become a monster, howling at the full moon, shredding your clothes to pieces, your hair greys slightly and your face shows lines that should not be there in a face so young as yours. What do you think Sirius Black thinks of you?" _

_Lupin was stupefied. He knew Snape did not like him, but since when did he say things like that? Sad eyes looked up into Severus' face, but Remus did not know how to reply to these harsh words. When he had been a professor at Hogwards he dad felt safe, he knew what he was doing, always being a master when it came to defence against the darks arts. The shy and slightly shabby man had been self-assured for the first time, but the longer those times lay back the more unsteady this self-assurance got._

"_I.. I don't know, what…" he stumbled over his own words and did not finish the sentence. _

"_What do you think, Lupin?", Severus asked, trying to sound patient. "He needs someone as good natured as you: cooking for him, cleaning after him and sometimes bent down for him, when it comes to… his special needs.", after these words Remus hand grabbed a handful of floe-powder and floed back to his place._

_After some time Sirius got it all out of Remus. Never had he laid his hands on Remus and these words had shocked him so deeply. Why had Severus said this? Was it true?_

_Sirius had transformed into Padfoot and vanished._

_End of flashback_

Now Remus sat by the fire and mused what all this was about. Hell, he wished Sirius wanted him to bent down. Well… not exactly in these harsh words, but Remus enjoyed every little touch and every gentle word of his friend. Sometimes he had the small impression that Sirius felt this way, too, but he didn't dare hoping anything. He simply was glad that Sirius was with him. He would not put their friendship at any risk, even if he so badly wanted to know what Sirius tasted like. What he felt like… better not think about it!

Full moon was close and Remus went out into the forest, neatly folded his clothes and waited for the sun to set. He said down in the grass, looked out over the hills, but Padfoot was nowhere in sight. He had his back to the house and did not see Sirius coming out of the fireplace.

"I'm here for you.", Sirius breathed and gently laid a hand on Remus' naked shoulder. He traced a scar on his shoulder blade and felt the man shiver under his touch.

"Where have you been? Why did you run from me?", he was afraid that Sirius had been too furious about Snape's comment. Afraid that he felt intimidated and disgusted.

"Later, Moony. I need time to explain."

Not five minutes later both were in their canine form, lying in the soft breeze on the small hill, watching over the landscape. The werewolf had been unbelievable tame and still. Padfoot had licked his neck once and forced him to lie down, then slowly laid on top of him, like he always did.

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Remus woke up in his bed, he was still naked and exhausted, but the covers were carefully drawn up to his chin so he would not shiver in the cold room. He opened his eyes and resumed the last night and what he had done to his body. Nothing. Just some scratches on his arms, nothing too bad. "Sirius?", he whispered and immediately he felt the man move next to him. Remus looked into the direction of the movement and found Sirius sitting on the floor next to his bed. "Hey."

"Hey, Moony. Glad you're awake. How do you feel.", Sirius wanted to know. He always cared so deeply for Remus…

"Where have you been before sunset?"

"With you, my dear Moony.", he said innocently.

"Don't play this game with me. I'm serious, so tell me."

"Oh, the full moon has caused your mind some damage. I AM Sirius, not you.", he joked in a gentle whisper but soon told his story. "I ran to Severus and punched him hard into his fuckin' stomach!", he told Remus and the werewolf could hear the anger in his voice.

"Why, Sirius? Why did you do this?", he asked, sitting up and motioning for Sirius to sit next to him on the bed. Sirius complied happily and his soft fingers lightly began to stroke Remus greying strands. Remus was used to these touches but he enjoyed them even more after the full moon. It was all he could do to not press Sirius down onto the mattress and kiss him senseless. Gods… did this man know how he made Remus feel? Did he know how much he meant to Moony?

"I don't want Snape to speak of you like that! You are so gentle and loving and you welcomed me with open arms." 'How could I not', Remus thought to himself. "You are so dear to me and I don't stand it when people talk to you like that and…" his voice trailed off, but Remus knew that something of importance was about to come off those red, full lips.

"What, Sirius?", he asked, looking into those deep storm grey eyes. "You can tell me, you know?", his voice was barely above a whisper, when he watched Sirius take a steadying breath.  
"I don't want anybody talk about the precious, unspoken love we share like that.", he whispered. He felt it too! Remus was at full attention.

"What?", he asked, thinking his ears played a sick joke with him.

"You know so well what I mean, Moony. I love you so damn much it hurts, and you know. But all those things that happened over the years have made us both afraid."

Remus breathed hard, he had known yes. But why had they been so shy? They loved each other more than anything in the world. And they knew time was precious. Why had they wasted so much of it?

Because they had to be sure.

Before Remus knew what he was doing he gently bent forward and brushed his lips over Sirius' like the soft touch of a feather.

"I know, my Sirius. And I love you, too.", Remus whispered. Gently he kissed Sirius again. And again.

They had waited for too long, yet it was so perfect and easy.

Their kisses grew more passionate, their hands roaming over their bodies when they showed their love for each other openly for the first time.

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_**Please review! Thanks!**_


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